


Regret

by LacieFuyu



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, I AM SORRY, I AM SORRY I SWEAR, I think my head just pure cruel today, M/M, Sad Ending, Tragedy, What if of 2x10, but i can't help it, i still blame my mutuals feed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-10-01 16:11:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10193684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LacieFuyu/pseuds/LacieFuyu
Summary: What if Magnus in the Institute when the Soul Sword Activated?





	

**Author's Note:**

> I am sorry this is a mess and unbetaed. I haven't rewatch this episode too so i am sorry but enjoy the angst
> 
> Edit: It's betaed now! Thanks to Hairi_Esh_Mooncake!

Alec rushed to the room. He saw all the downwolders laid around the room. He could feel his heart racing against his ribs. He realized that it meant that someone had activated the Soul Sword and the only one who was capable of activating it was-

  
Clary.

  
  
Or at least that’s what he thought until he saw Jace. He looked shaken and when his eyes met Alec's, there was an emotion that Alec too often felt and saw in his own eyes. He could feel it in their Parabatai bond. Guilt. 

  
  
Alec could feel his blood run cold in his veins. That guilt, there was a reason for it. It was directed towards Alec, something personal, but he couldn't focus on that because of the Downwolders’ corpses around them.

  
  
"The-they all are dead... Did Cla-"

  
  
"It was me, Alec.... I- I thought I would destroy the sword but....."

  
  
He gestured toward the room.

  
  
All the Downwolders were dead. And it was because Jace activated the Soul Sword. 

  
  
Like a truck a realisation hit him. Downwolders in New York Institute were dead because of the Soul Sword. Magnus was a warlock. A Downwolder.

  
  
Alec turned Pale.

  
  
"Where is Magnus? He wasn't here, was he?"

  
  
The guilt that Alec could feel through their Parabatai bond in Jace suddenly spiked. Alec could feel blood rushing to his head and his heart racing against his ribs. Jace’s reaction made him feel scared.

  
  
Jace looked at him as if he wanted to cry and beg for forgiveness. Alec could only think of the worst. 

  
  
_No_.  _Not Possible_.

  
  
"A-Alec..  I-I am sorry"

  
  
Alec’s breath hitched.

  
  
" _No._   _Not Possible, Jace..._ "

  
  
Jace looked down, ashamed while his hand still held the Soul Sword. His head turned to where a redhead was kneeling down with the vampire right beside her. She was the only one crying while the vampire tried to calm her down but Alec could see that he was also trembling.

  
  
Alec ran to them and what he saw shook him. He stilled. He could feel his blood run cold in his veins. His mind trying to deny what he was seeing.

  
  
There was a body laid in front of them, in front of him. 

  
  
It was Magnus.

  
  
He was laying still.

  
  
He didn't breath.

  
  
_Magnus was dead_.

  
  
" _Oh God._ "

  
  
He rushed to Magnus's body, kneeling beside him.

  
  
He could see that Magnus's usual tan complexion had turned white. Pale, more like it. As if death warmed him.

  
  
_Magnus_ was _dead._

  
  
Alec's mind supplied unhelpfully.

  
  
Magnus's eyes were still slightly open. Staring into nothingness. His usual glamour of brown eyes was down. What was left were his natural eyes. His Demon mark, which Alec thought was ridiculous to be called demon mark because Magnus's cat eyes were one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen.

  
  
But Magnus would never know what Alec thought about his cat-eyes.

  
  
He was dead.

  
  
He touched Magnus's right cheek, rubbing it slowly. Magnus’s body had always been warm. Magnus always feel like home. He didn't want to lose it. 

  
  
But he had lost it.

  
  
Magnus felt cold in his hand and realized that nothing would give back the warmth to his body and color to his skin anymore.

  
  
He wouldn't get to hear Magnus laugh again.

  
  
He wouldn't get to see Magnus smile again.

  
  
He wouldn't wake up to such a beautiful being again.

  
  
He wouldn't hear Magnus calling him Alexander in endearment again.

  
  
He wouldn't hear amazement in Magnus's voice over things Alec did again.

  
  
He wouldn't get to see Magnus in his glitter anymore.

  
  
And Alec will never have a chance to tell him one honest truth that burnt inside his heart.

  
  
Alec’s breath hitched as realization hit him. His tears no longer could kept at bay. One by one it fell down on Magnus's face. Alec drew a heavy breath in.

  
  
"I-I could never tell you about my feelings..... That I-"

  
  
Alec choked on his tears.

  
  
"I love you Magnus, I love you with all my heart but you will never know..... I regret it Magnus.... I regret it so much."

  
  
He could hear Clary and Simon gasp and Jace’s breath hitch but he didn't care. 

  
  
All he could think and see in the moment was Magnus. His last moment with Magnus was spent fighting. He regretted it so much and it pained his heart like it wanted to burst. He wanted to rip his heart to get rid of the pain.

  
  
"I am sorry, Magnus. You definitely hate me for yelling at you, for accusing you about Izzy. It wasn’t your fault yet I-I still hurt you. I deserve your hate I-"

  
  
"He didn't hate you, Alec."

  
  
Clary cut him off. She gave him a sympathetic look. Her eyes were red, a proof she had been crying. She still had Magnus's hand in her grip, her hand trembling in sadness.

  
  
"W-what do you mean?" 

  
  
Alec's voice sounded so lost. He looked like he had seen better days in life.

  
  
Clary bit her lip and spoke up.

  
  
"When we arrived in front of the Institute.... Magnus was feeling powerless, Alec. He felt he couldn't do anything and he was so worried about you. He didn't care about himself because he was worried about you. He loved you, Alec. It's clear in anyone eyes. He would have torn down Hell and Heaven itself if that meant you being safe. He loved and adored you, please never think he hated you. He loved you so much, Alec."

  
  
Magnus loved Alec. 

  
  
But Alec never really realized it.

  
  
At least not until now.

 

When it was  _too late_.

  
  
Alec choked on his tears being unable to control it anymore. He sobbed on Magnus's still chest. He never told Magnus how much he had loved him. 

  
  
Magnus was dead without knowing how much Alec loved him. He was dead with their last memory together being of them fighting and Alec accusing Magnus.

 

He cried. He sobbed. For their future which both of them couldn't have anymore.

  
  
Clary looked at Alec in sadness. She turned her head away only to notice that Magnus's eyes were still slightly open. She closed them. 

  
  
No one noticed that Magnus's eyeliner had smeared on each side of his face because of Alec's tears, leaving a trail in its wake, making it look as if he too had cried in his sleep. For the future he and Alec couldn't have anymore.

 


End file.
